Having relationships with someone who isn't local to you can be difficult, but worth it. I haven't been in many long-distance relationships. My first-ever boyfriend wasn't local to me, but it wasn't really ~long~ distance since he was only half an hour away by train. Now though, I am experiencing a longer distance than that.
D is about 4 hours away by train, or 3 hours driving. Sadly, neither of us can drive 😅. Due to this, we see each other about one weekend a month. Sometimes a bit longer than just a weekend. It helps to know that this isn't going to be permanent, given that he is planning on moving to my area 🥳. That only makes it marginally easier at the moment.
During the times he's not here, we try to spend time together online. We do this by hanging on a call, sometimes a video call, and either just chilling or gaming together. Thankfully, M sorted out one of our old laptops for D to have so perhaps now we will have more we can do together online.
It is a strange experience to be missing someone so much while in the presence of another partner (M). It was even stranger when I came home the other day, after dropping D off at the train station, and got comforted by M while I cried about missing D already 😅. That was a first for both of us. At first, I wasn't sure if I should seek comfort from M. I needed a cuddle while I sobbed briefly, I asked M for the comfort I required and he gave me it. I imagine there will be a lot of firsts we will navigate together.
The nights I am alone are the hardest. While I'm missing them both, I have to find ways to comfort myself. Or if comfort isn't working, distractions are just as good. My go-to comfort ways are:
Snuggling with my plushies
Watching cartoons or other comforting TV shows
Sending D and M messages, and selfies, knowing they will reply when they can
Bubble baths
Music
Comfort to me is things that make me feel good, something that can give me a little pick me up. Sometimes they help me feel my feelings gradually. Feeling my feels slowly is a good start for me, given my emotions can get pretty internally intense it's best to face them slowly. When my comfort ways are falling behind, or just not working well, I turn to distractions. My main methods of distraction inculde;
Gaming
Scrolling social media
Tiktok
More "brain-heavy" tv shows (one's I actually have to focus on)
Being distracted takes my mind away from my thoughts and feelings. Somewhat pushing them away for another time. Often my comfort and distractions are intertwined. Often doing multiple of them during the evening. However, sometimes even these methods fall short, leaving me in a mood where I just kind of lie and feel sorry for myself. This can lead to my thoughts spiralling so it's something I try not to do often. When I'm in that mindset, I have found that journalling helps but it's not always helpful. It is times like that when I wish I had someone else to seek comfort from. With my social circle being quite small, I rarely know who I can talk to. Given I don't even talk to my friends regularly 😅. I wonder if having an AI friend would be beneficial 🤔😂. I think that is all I have to say on this matter, well it would be more accurate to say that's all I can think of 😂.
Yorumlar