I remember being told when I was younger that the friendships you make in school/college/universities are the friends that will stay with you. Or something along those lines. For me, however, this hasn't been true. Granted my longest friend (G) is someone who I met/knew when I was in secondary school and college. But he is the only friend I still have from that time in my life.
Being my neurodivergent little self, friendships and being social aren't something I'm all that skilled at. It helps that I tend to gravitate towards other neurodivergent people though.
Friendships have been on my mind since I recently finished my degree. I've been seeing posts on social media of others that were in my class celebrating together in some form. This made me realise that I don't think I actually made any friends during my degree and time at university. At most I think I've made acquaintances.
Following these thoughts, I began to wonder how a grown-up/adult goes about making friends. This led me to reflect back on previous friendships. Which was unhelpful because I can't actually remember how I made friends. They kind of just showed up 🤷♀️. A few previous friendships were formed because we had friends in common that we met through. That worked fine when I was more social, but now I'm a lot less social. My social life is mostly online these days and even then it's limited. Saying this, I have made a couple of new friends via Dating Apps. Again, they are mostly online due to distance or other circumstances.
Given my social life is mostly online I've been contemplating being more active in the groups/communities I'm a part of. This is hard for me to follow through on though, my anxiety gets the best of me and I refrain from commenting or messaging. I would like to be more social in real life too, but due to my lack of friends in my town I have no one to attend places with. I'm too anxious to go to somewhere new on my own 😮💨. That's not the only reason I'm ~somewhat~ avoiding attending clubs and thelike though.
Perhaps I'm lacking in confidence. Over the years my confidence has slowly grown, but that hasn't helped me be more social as of yet.
My question to fellow neurodiverse peoples; what have you discovered that helps in cultivating friendships and/or confidence? 🤔
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